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*y didnt i just stay asleep*'s Journal
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2004.03.13 00.19
Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results | Sociability | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Aggressiveness | ||||||||||||||| | 42% | | Assertiveness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 66% | | Activity Level | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 66% | | Excitement-Seeking | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Enthusiasm | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Extroversion | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 71% | | Trust | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Morality | |||||||||||||||||| | 54% | | Altruism | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Cooperation | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 66% | | Modesty | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Sympathy | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Friendliness | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 73% | | Confidence | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 66% | | Neatness | |||||||||||| | 34% | | Dutifulness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Achievement | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 62% | | Self-Discipline | ||||||||||||||| | 46% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||| | 38% | | Orderliness | |||||||||||||||||| | 52% | | Anxiety | ||| | 10% | | Volatility | |||||| | 18% | | Depression | ||||||||| | 22% | | Self-Consciousness | ||||||||| | 30% | | Impulsiveness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 62% | | Vulnerability | |||||||||||| | 34% | | Emotional Stability | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 71% | | Imagination | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 78% | | Artistic Interests | ||||||||| | 30% | | Introspection | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||||||||||||||| | 74% | | Intellect | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | Liberalism | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 66% | | Openmindedness | ||||||||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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(1 burnt my bridges | u know u only) |
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2003.12.28 23.35
im feeling odly poetic
And I would say I’m sorry
that I’m sorry for this
but that would be a lie
and a lie is more than I could give
you see i have given you all I have
all I could offer you have had since the start
I’m tired, weak, and fatigued from this
was it all really worth it just for your kiss?
So I guess that’s all I had to say
but if it would really make you happy
then I guess I could give one last lie
and say maybe for tonight "IM SORRY"
Mood:  pensive
Music: no music just thoughts
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(2 burnt my bridges | u know u only) |
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2003.12.22 22.22
sic transit gloria...glory fades
Keep the noise low, She doesn’t want to blow it.
Shaking head to toe while your left hand does "the show me around"
Quickens your heartbeat, It beats me straight into the ground
You don’t recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed - completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tightagainst sheets barely whisper,
"This is so messed up."
Upon arrival the guests had all stared,
Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch.
Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low,
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe, and his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns, and he thinks of throwing up
But the body on the bed beckons forward, and he starts growing up.
The fever, the focus,
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathe,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights,
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth,
He is gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time", he says
She fakes a smile, and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast, and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing old.)
So much more than he could ever give,
A life full of lies and meaningful relationships.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides,
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his gut to subside.
The fever, the focus,
The reason that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of
It used to be the reason that I breathed,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes, the art of growing old.
The fever, the focus,
The reason that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of
It used to be the reason that I breathed,
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
hmmm maybe maybe
Mood:  complacent
Music: brand new-sic transit gloria
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(3 burnt my bridges | u know u only) |
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2003.12.22 19.48
`*..do you drink// yessum
`*..how many times have you been drunk// idk like 4,5,7 at most
`*..is your best friend a virgin// hah! best friend yea right lol
`*..do you wear short shorts// NOOOOO NOT A CHANCE
`*..how many people have you slept with// numero 1
`*..do you get along with your mom// i love her althought i can be an asshole to her sometimes
`*..how many girls have you kissed// wait let me try to remember.....oh yea lol 1
`*..been so drunk you couldn't remember your name// not gonna lie to you...yea
`*..do you have any eating disorders// yup i like to call it wrestling
`*..piercings or tattoos// negative although soon i plan on getting tattoo
`*..have you ever smoked// smoked what? cigarette absolutley not....weed yes
`*..are you a regular smoker// no
`*..do you have any kids// NO thank the gracious god
`*..ever find yourself wishing to poke people with sticks// nah whenever i want to do that i usually just do
`*..ever taped your nose to your face// yeaaaa
`*..do you wish you could live in another realm// eh sometimes
`*..have you ever ran in circles like an elf// WHY doesn an ELF run around in circles? huh? HUH?
`*..do you pick your nose for a living// NO
`*..do you fart in public// nahhh
`*..do you pick wedgies in public// not unless extremely neccesary
`*..what's your view on religion// i believe that it is just a crutch although sometimes i suppose thats neccesary? anywhow i like the emotions it can create most of the time so i suppose its alright
`*..ever stop to smell the roses/ ....how aboot no
`*..what about wake up and smell the coffee// no but i would be a happy boy if i did
`*..can you smell// yeshum
`*..gotten so drunk you didn't know where you were// oh god dont even let me get started on that
MORE QUESTiONS..
`*..what is the most common question you get asked// i cant tell you, i dont know?
`*..your usual response// i cant tell u i dont know?
`*..what's your natural hair color// blondish brown
`*..eye color// blue
`*..how tall are you without shoes// 5'8/9
`*..favorite colors// black blue and green
`*.what's your highest level of education// junior
`*..how many surveys have you taken// this my friends is the first
`*..do you have any siblings// no
`*..if yes how many//
`*..do you have any pets// yessssss
`*..if yes, what kind// a dog- solar and a bird- blackjack
`*..what's your sexual prefrence// i like girls!
`*..do you have your own site// hahahaha yes but i dont remember it
`*..do you sleep with clothes on// pj's...but then when dont i wear them?
MUSiCAL STUFF..
`*..favorite band// my chemical romance,soco,NIN,feeling left out,radiohead,incubus,311
`*..favorite song// from autumn to ashes(fata) - autumns monolouge
`*..what song most describes you// see above
`*..what song shows how you feel about your best friend// dont have one
`*..what song makes you cry// something corporate - konstantine/walking by
`*..song describes your love life// noexistant
`*..what song describes your happiest moment// idk
`*..what song describes your worst moment// idk
`*..what song describes life for you// theres songs that describe different aspects of life...i have yet t hear the song that describes LIFE
`*..what song describes your feelings for your enemy// i dont have them, at least i dont think so
`*..what's your one favorite lyric// "why cant i be what you need? a new and improved version of me?"
`*..what lyric reminds you of an exlover//
`*..what lyrics do you want the world to hear//
EVEN MORE QUESTiONS..
..and some repeated..
`*..eaten a box of oreos// haha yea i used to be mad fat
`*..been on stage// i was doc in the play back in the day
`*..dumped someone// yea......
`*..gotten in a car accident// no
`*..been in love// yea a highschool sorta love
EiTHER//OR..
`*..coffee or hot choccolate// coffee
`*..neve campbell or jennifer love hewitt// jen love
`*..jeans or cords// jeans
`*..sweater or sweatshirt// sweatshirt
`*..t-shirt or tanktop// t-shirt
iN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU..
`*..cried// no
`*..helped someone// idk maybe not that i know of though?
`*..bought something// no
`*..gotten sick// no lol thankfully
`*..gone to the movies// no
`*..said i love you// i def say that alot
`*..written a letter// no
`*..moved on// arent u always moving on? when are we standing still?
`*..talked to an ex// no
`*..missed an ex//
`*..talked to a crush// idk im not sure
`*..had a serious talk// no
`*..missed someone// yes, i always miss someone or something
`*..hugged someone// yea
`*..fought with your parents// no
`*..fought with a friend// no
DO YOU//WHAT..
`*..put on a 'front'// ?!?!?!?!
`*..kiss on the first date// yes i suppose so lol...but...im a boy so...yeaaaa
`*..have a crush on someone// idk
`*..eat with your mouth open// no
`*..color is the carpet in your room// green
`*..the last CD you bought// something corporate
RANDOM QUESTiONS...
`*..how did you spend last summer// at home and fire island with chris it was aight
`*..when's the last time you showered// not too long ago
`*..are you lonely// yes
`*..are you happy// at times...
`*..are you wearing pajamas// totally
`*..are you talking to someone online// no
`*..what's your astrological sign// cancer
`*..what are you listening or watching right now// brand new -sic transit gloria
Mood:  accomplished
Music: brand new- song from the survey
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(u know u only) |
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